Pardon me, you left your fear in my arms.
Getting dressed, I felt an extra layer.
The stock market, education reformation, stifling aristocracy.
When we embraced I was soothed by your warmth. Your skin, gritty and acidic, made mine seem extra special and tender.
Your solid chest gave me stillness I hadn’t seen.
Your growling timber, reminding me to hush and enjoy the stillness.
I left and those sensations wafted away, worry did not.
It wasn’t until mid day, as I processed and categorized my emotions, did I realize someone else was there.
You see I am used to the fears of a woman. Not always feeling safe, not being seen or considered. Yet today I took on a new darkness that didn’t belong to me.
Telling me to panic. Asking me to rage and gnash and bloody my knees. Putting blame on the ones that are different. Itching to share these sentiments, because commiserating may give me some soothe.
Pardon me, you left your fears in my arms and they’re yelling over mine.